Chapter 2 Toxic Relationships
Dousing the flame of inflammation:
THE BIG TAKEAWAYS ON TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS
1. Staying in a toxic relationship makes the stress continual, whether it’s a toxic love relationship, a toxic friendship or a toxic parent.
2. Try to talk to this loved one to improve the relationship and put a plan together. If it can't happen, either walk away (friendship or love relationship) or set boundaries (parent.). It's literally killing you.
3. When you are suffering from inflammation, you need to turn your loving attention to yourself, to get well.
4. Reach out to close friends for loving support if you have ended a toxic love relationship. You need unconditional love right now to improve your health.
5. Walk away with no regrets.
6. Make a list of all of the amazing qualities you have and read them every day. Have close friends help you.
“You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance- you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. Its one thing is a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change, But is a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and ‘continues’ to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.” Daniell Koepke
Toxic relationships can make you ill, whether it’s a toxic love relationship, a toxic friendship, a toxic employer, or a toxic relative.
Significant Other Relationships
I was in a relationship for nine years that started out healthy. He helped me start my jewelry business; he wrote my operating system, and he paid for all of my food and all of my entertainment for years while I was getting started. I am very grateful to him, and I loved him very much. In the beginning, and then in many of the years that followed, he was extraordinarily good to me.
He loved to go out to expensive restaurants. But after being together for eight years, when I got diabetes and wanted to stop eating out every night for heavy calorie laden food, my significant other announced that he didn't like it that I was diabetic.
What was I supposed to do with that?
He didn’t want me to cook home cooked meals. He didn’t want me to dictate what he was going to eat each night.
He was upset that I had gained weight, a lot of weight, and he blamed me for the weight he had gained. (we had eaten our way through Pasadena, and he had gained weight too.)
Furthermore, after time, this guy didn’t appreciate me for who I was, he only saw me for who I was not.
He had recently lost a lot of money in the stock market and had become sullen and difficult to be around. He started dating other women, unbeknownst to me.
These were all just symptoms of the underlying toxicity that was growing.
I would have never left him when he was down, but he did me a big favor when he left me.
There is no doubt that he broke my heart, but as I came out the other side of my pain, I realized I could start to deal with the pain my body was experiencing; that the inflammation in my body had begun. I could start to eat the way I was supposed to for my diabetes and sugar control; I could start to take care of me. In the end, I understand that he did me a big favor, and the break-up set me on the road to health.
In the first eight months, I lost 40 pounds.
I took a class on how to date from Allison Armstrong (an amazing guru with very sensible advice on dating) and nine months later I met an amazing guy by doing a profile on the dating service Our Time.com. Using what I learned from Allison's seminars, I wrote that I was looking for a guy that would intellectually stimulate me, (John is a statistician), that was kind and had high ethics, and he needed to be open to eating home cooked food that was organic and healthy. He needed to want to live an entirely healthy lifestyle.
The guy that answered lived 10 minutes away from me and two years ago, I married him.
John just wants me to be happy. He was married for 42 years to a therapist, and she died from cancer after being ill for five years. He loved her very much. He was ready for a new life experience, and lucky me, he chose to find that experience with me.
He is a true partner and supports me in all that I do. He is easy going, and he sees me for who I am, and doesn't criticize me for who I am not.
He completely supports me in my quest for health, and he has lost 60 pounds in the time we have been together. He considers himself my first Health Coaching success.
Read more in “It Feels Good to Feel Good, learn to eliminate toxins, reverse inflammation and feel great again.
Title: It Feels Good to Feel Good
Author: Cheryl Meyer
Genre: Non-Fiction / Health
This book is for anyone with chronic pain looking for answers. It will give you a place to start. You don’t have to resign yourself to a life of pain and pills.
In this book you will learn:
* What is causing your pain and how to eliminate it.
* How to find a practitioner that will help you gain back your health.
* What’s in your food? Organic, conventional, GMOs processed, fast, canned, dairy, factory farmed meat, soy, water. Identify your sensitivities and heal your leaky gut.
* Identify the toxins in your life. in your cosmetics, over the counter drugs,in you kitchen, in your body. Learn how to purge them.
* 34 stress busting ideas, and four simple exercises to reduce your stress.
* 32 suggestions from leading functional experts on how to get a good night’s sleep..
* How to recognize a toxic relationship and make it work or walk away.
* How to tame Anxious Negative Thoughts “ANTs”.
* The importance of movement, even for people who don’t like to move
* How to take control of your health, reduce your inflammation and feel great again!
About Cheryl Meyer aka Cheryl M Health Muse and her book, “It Feels Good to Feel Good, learn about toxins, reducing inflammation and feel great again.”
Five years ago, Cheryl got sick, really sick. It was a perfect storm: she was working 24/7; her long-term relationship imploded; economic changes slowed her business; she got Type II diabetes; she was taking care of everyone else; her stress was out of control.
Then one morning … viola, Cheryl woke up in incredible pain that didn’t go away. Her doctor didn’t recognize what it was and thought it was in her head.
Cheryl didn’t want more pills, so she embarked on her own journey to find wellness. When she started, she didn’t even know what she was looking for. She was stunned to find toxins in every aspect of her life that were poisoning her. She discovered the Functional Medicine community. She was tested for food sensitivities.
This book shares everything that Cheryl learned to reverse her inflammation and put her autoimmune diseases at bay. This is the get well manual that she wishes had been available when she got sick. The book is about first identifying that toxins that were a significant cause of her leaky gut, then she identified what the toxins were and finally she shares what she replaced them with. She addresses the toxins in our food, in our cosmetics, our cleaning supplies, our kitchen utensils, our water, our over the counter drugs, and even in our heads, stress, anxiety, lack of sleep, lack of movement and finally toxic relationships. She wants to help others find a path to wellness.
Cheryl is now relatively pain-free, but still considers herself a work in progress. She avoids the foods and spices on her specific, long list of problem foods. She has purged toxins. She has released stress and nagging worry. She has learned to find joy in movement. She has found love. She is grateful.
Cheryl believes that following her journey will help you live a long, happy and pain-free life.
In order to help others, Cheryl has become a Holistic Health Coach, certified from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition©.
My book has won the following awards to date:
- 3rd place CIPA EVVY Health/Wellness,
- 2nd Place CIPA EVVY Illustrator in a non-children’s book
- New Apple Summer Digital sole winner in Health/medical
- The Living Evergreen Award Gold winner for books that exemplify better living.
- It is in the top 10 from Write your Own Dream Book, November 17, Institute for Integrative Nutrition.
- TOP 12 Books on the Spirited Woman Fall Equinox 2017 book list.
“It Feels Good to Feel Good, learn to eliminate toxins, reduce inflammation and feel great again” is written by Cheryl Meyer, a graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition®, where she completed a cutting edge curriculum in nutrition and health coaching taught by the world’s leading experts in health and wellness. I recommend you read this book and be in touch with Cheryl (Cheryl M Health Muse ) to see how she can help you successfully achieve your goals.
– Joshua Rosenthal, MScEd, Founder/Director, Institute for Integrative Nutrition
If you want to truly feel better…clean up! Just one tip from Cheryl’s book will change your life. She has written the ultimate source for getting well through detoxification.”Suzy Cohen, RPh Author of “Drug Muggers: Which Medications Are Robbing Your Body of Essential Nutrients and How to Restore Them.”
“You have taken putting soap in the mouth for naughty words …” to a New Level! LOL Who knew we were surrounded by so many toxins.
I’ve pretty much finished your book now working on giving sections to my family and friend that I think will especially appreciate certain chapters! YOU, my Dear, have found your calling, YOU make this rather “dull” subject a Very Good, interesting read, with fun personal touches along the way.
I LOVE your book; I hope people will embrace it. Why worry so much about health care if we keep killing ourselves with poison. We can all start with eliminating the toxins out of our lives. Val Peterson
“As a Functional Medicine Doctor who partners with patients to deal with the root causes of their symptoms, it was a pleasure to read a book that offers such a comprehensive yet simple approach to improve health, reduce inflammation and pain, lose weight and increase energy. This is a great reference to keep in reach on your own journey to optimal wellness. If you are struggling with chronic symptoms like digestive problems, hormonal imbalances, and autoimmune disorders, this book may really help you. It lays out practical tools that you can use right away and at your own pace, everything from how to change your shopping choices to getting more comprehensive medical testing to reduce your toxic burden. Her simple to understand, well researched and easy-to-adopt tools can be helpful to even the busiest among us.” Dr. Shilpa Sayana, Founder and Medical Director, Sayana Wellness Centers
“Cheryl has been not only been an exemplary patient, she has made it her mission to inspire and help others with her experience and knowledge!” Susan Spizer, MTCM, L.Ac.
“She writes like she talks, straight and with passion. What you will read here will surprise you. A helpful read that you will refer back time and time again for reference.” Scott Lee, Master, Body and Brain Yoga, Monrovia
“My friend, Cheryl Meyer has written a book that I recently finished called “It feels good to feel good”. It has a lot of common sense solutions (many that you would never think of) to healthy, toxin free living designed around the reduction of inflammation through what you put in and on your body. Most of this is from her personal experience. I know Cheryl to be one of the finest people you’ll ever know. Cheryl’s also a big proponent of “functional medicine”. If you are unfamiliar with this form of medical practice, you need to read her book. It will change the way you think”. Frank Jones
Cheryl’s book is as timely as it is informative. This is an excellent read for those seasoned in the holistic lifestyle as well as those just beginning. There is something for everyone. Her material covers everything from probiotics, house cleaning materials, and abdominal massages, to which teas to drink for better sleep. She has the latest information on metal detoxing and extensive research on the air we breathe, the water we drink, and the food we eat.
Cheryl provides real solutions that can be implemented far beyond the basics with a bend toward functional medicine. I personally ordered three products within hours of reading her book. I’m especially thrilled with the depth of her research around relationships and those that can be toxic. Make sure to read this book and hold onto the “not to miss points” at the beginning of each section.
Shannon Eavenson, Author, & Physical Therapist/Health Coach
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